Comedian: SUE GALLOWAY

"Girls aren't funny." If you've heard it once, you've heard it many times, along with girls "can't drive" and Lawrence Summers' favorite, "don't do math/science." As two females who often crack each other up (and know many outstanding female drivers and mathematician/scientists), we figured we'd do our gender a solid by featuring one of the funniest people we know--rather, watch on TV and then stalked: Sue Galloway. Sue has successfully navigated the NYC comedy scene, and proven repeatedly that women can in fact be funny, if not hilarious. She is a regular at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater (UCB), a freelance joke writer for SNL's Weekend Update, and an actress on NBC's comedy sensation, 30 Rock (created by fellow funny-gal Tina Fey, who also stars in the show). Playing the role of the French-Dutch, suspected nymphomaniac Sue LaRoche-Van der Hout, Sue has made a name for herself on TV in addition to the top comedic outposts in NYC. She also writes and stars in her own clever and wacky webseries, Namedroppers, which we encourage you to watch, along with the other videos available on her website, described by Sue as, "The corn kernels spurting out of a giant silo. Delicious. Breathtaking. Unique. Yellowish."

Showing up to settle the gender score is the quirky and awesome Sue Galloway at her finest.
Photo credit: Robyn Von Swank.

Are you French-Dutch?
My character is French-Dutch, but I am 100% Anerdican.

Best 30 Rock one-liner:
Best one liner I said:  "I will do sex with cannibals as needed."  That someone else said: "Colorful sweaters?"

Describe your work environment:
Non-stop fun.  With brief periods of effort.

The funniest person you know?
My dad.  He has a fantastic sense of humor, he makes brilliant jokes, and he appreciates great comedy.

Why women are essential to comedy:
We need someone to sit in the audience and laugh, right?  And someone to bear new people to do comedy?  Just kidding.  Everyone is essential to comedy. While I'm on the subject, I think it is completely bizarre that anyone would say that women aren't funny, and that anyone else would believe them.  People are funny.  We are all people.  Anyone who doesn't think women are funny should see me in the nude.

Your most embarrassing moment:
See above.

Your greatest extravagance?
Firefox tabs.  I can't have too many of them.  All up.  All the time. So. Much. Information.

Your (hypothetical) Match.com profile description:
Age: Like a fine w(h)ine.
Height: I prefer depth.
Weight: 10 cats.
Eyes: Four.
Hair: Appropriate.
About Me: I'm A Woman Lady Looking for a Male Man for funs times and whatnot.  We have so many to do of things!  You should be intellagent and hamsome.  I should be easy to find in a photograph.  Please call me on my email.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Probably in the mirror and/or store windows just like usual.  Oh, and eyes.  If I get really close I can see myself in eyes.

Your proudest achievement:
Without a doubt, this very sentence. Oh, maybe not.

How do you relax?
A bi-monthly lard bath does the trick.  Or, in a jam, sitting on a stump.

Most nagging pet-peeve:
I hate listening to people chewing.  Also, I greatly dislike the destruction of forest habitats to make way for inefficient suburban housing or depressing strip malls.  But mostly I really hate chewing sounds.

Most overrated virtue:
Brevity.

Sue LaRouche-Van der Hout’s sexiest NYC haunt:
Under the subways with the mole people.

Sue Galloway’s sexiest NYC haunt:
Anywhere I can go on my bike.  I am not sure who this is supposed to be sexy for, is it me or other people who might see me?  But I love being on my bike.  And it is a granny style bike, so, you know.  Hot stuff.